She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
