The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
