I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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