Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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