just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
