Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
