Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Even my vagina gasped.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
