Christians are straight up FREAKS
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
