u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
