I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
