Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
