I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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