the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
