By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
