is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
