I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
