Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
