I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
