I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
