Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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