I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize