I'm going to rape someone's good day.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
