you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize