i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
