This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
