We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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