Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
