it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
try to milk me bitch
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
