I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
