I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i dont even know how to be here
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize