Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
