I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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