i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
