His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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