Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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