I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize