my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
