When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
