you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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