Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
