Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize