You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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