I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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