3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
