brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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