she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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