I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Randomize
