did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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