tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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