She is in my trunk
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
