he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
