how can u be prego again
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
