I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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