Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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