weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
