Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
