"it" just moved
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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