i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
