So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
