I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
