my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
"it" just moved
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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