I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
