I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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