do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I need moral support for this bender
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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