Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize