I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
