the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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