i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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